A MomsLikeMe poll asked moms if they would rather have a smart child or a social child that was good with people. Many moms weighed in and said the would like to have a smart child. Many others said that it didn't matter if they were smart or not, that if they couldn't manage to navigate the social world the would never get to use their intellect and would be lonely and sad adults.
I asked my son, who was in the room, what he thought. His response was that he would like to be smart, of course, and that if he was, he would be smart in all areas in life including how to deal with people.
Sounds pretty smart to me, and I think he communicated his thoughts quite well.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Gardening
I have been gardening with the kids for several years now. When I started my first garden, I was astonished at how easy it was. You plant seeds and they grow. Food eventually grows on the plants and you have your very own produce isle in your backyard. The kids love to water the garden and pick the vegetables. It is truly a family project and one that we all enjoy on some level.
Last year we were devastated to come home and find that our backyard garden had been sprayed with something to kill it. I called on the experts at ISU who put me in contact with the proper organization who then sent a team to take samples of my garden. They analyzed the samples and determined that my garden, which is inside a 6 foot high privacy fence had been sprayed with Roundup. My family had been eating the food from that garden up until I noticed the leaves of my tomato plants turning yellow. Eventually the ripe, red tomatoes turned white and fell to the ground. I cried for a very long time last summer. My garden was ruined.
Knowing how upset I was, my mother came to my rescue. She offered up her yard to be turned into garden. She helped to buy a second round of plants to be planted. The garden at her house last year did not do well at all. We got quite a few acorn squash, but not much else. The rabbits ate everything else. It did, however keep me busy. It gave me a task and a direction to move in other than anger. While I don't like driving clear across town to garden and I don't like that I pass half a dozen grocery stores on my way to pick food that I could get closer to home, I do like that I am growing organic food that isn't sprayed, or waxed, or weeks old by the time I get it.
This year we are gardening at my mom's house. We turned our backyard garden into a wildflower garden. All food is being grown at my mom's house. This week I buried chicken wire around the perimeter of the garden to keep the rabbits out. I have mapped out what I want to grow and where. I am more organized. The kids are excited about getting fresh tomatoes and strawberries. They are enjoying their time playing outside in the fresh air. I am slowly getting into shape again after a long, snowy winter that kept me inside far too long. What we do not use this summer or freeze for the winter, I will donate to a local food pantry that has helped me out when I need it. Last year they were a great help since we did not get the food from our garden that we had counted on to feed our family.
There are always going to be rabbits in life and crazy people who will kill what you worked hard for. There will be disasters and accidents. It is how you handle these hardships that matter. I want my kids to learn that. There are a great many people in the world that can't roll with the punches. When life throws them a curve ball they crumple up and don't know what to do. I know. I do that, too. Then I get up and go about my life. I deal with the shock of things and then keep right on going. I have a lot of people that count on me for a lot of things. I don't have the luxury of giving up.
A lot of people have told me that they can't grow anything. I ask if they can grow weeds. If you can grow weeds, you can grow anything. Are you growing weeds in your life, or are you growing the good stuff, and do you share what you grow out of your life? Share the love, people.
Last year we were devastated to come home and find that our backyard garden had been sprayed with something to kill it. I called on the experts at ISU who put me in contact with the proper organization who then sent a team to take samples of my garden. They analyzed the samples and determined that my garden, which is inside a 6 foot high privacy fence had been sprayed with Roundup. My family had been eating the food from that garden up until I noticed the leaves of my tomato plants turning yellow. Eventually the ripe, red tomatoes turned white and fell to the ground. I cried for a very long time last summer. My garden was ruined.
Knowing how upset I was, my mother came to my rescue. She offered up her yard to be turned into garden. She helped to buy a second round of plants to be planted. The garden at her house last year did not do well at all. We got quite a few acorn squash, but not much else. The rabbits ate everything else. It did, however keep me busy. It gave me a task and a direction to move in other than anger. While I don't like driving clear across town to garden and I don't like that I pass half a dozen grocery stores on my way to pick food that I could get closer to home, I do like that I am growing organic food that isn't sprayed, or waxed, or weeks old by the time I get it.
This year we are gardening at my mom's house. We turned our backyard garden into a wildflower garden. All food is being grown at my mom's house. This week I buried chicken wire around the perimeter of the garden to keep the rabbits out. I have mapped out what I want to grow and where. I am more organized. The kids are excited about getting fresh tomatoes and strawberries. They are enjoying their time playing outside in the fresh air. I am slowly getting into shape again after a long, snowy winter that kept me inside far too long. What we do not use this summer or freeze for the winter, I will donate to a local food pantry that has helped me out when I need it. Last year they were a great help since we did not get the food from our garden that we had counted on to feed our family.
There are always going to be rabbits in life and crazy people who will kill what you worked hard for. There will be disasters and accidents. It is how you handle these hardships that matter. I want my kids to learn that. There are a great many people in the world that can't roll with the punches. When life throws them a curve ball they crumple up and don't know what to do. I know. I do that, too. Then I get up and go about my life. I deal with the shock of things and then keep right on going. I have a lot of people that count on me for a lot of things. I don't have the luxury of giving up.
A lot of people have told me that they can't grow anything. I ask if they can grow weeds. If you can grow weeds, you can grow anything. Are you growing weeds in your life, or are you growing the good stuff, and do you share what you grow out of your life? Share the love, people.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Sickness Has Fallen Upon Us
In the past few weeks two of my four little ones have fallen ill. We have dealt with vomiting and fevers, hives, and sore throats. When a child gets sick in our house, they are kept in bed as much as possible. They get to rest, watch movies, read books, draw pictures, and play. I don't push school work of any kind on a sick child. As they feel up to it, they can join back into the family activities.
I remember when the kids were in public school and we were told that they couldn't come to school until they had gone 24 hours without a fever over 100 degrees. This meant that when they got sick they missed the day they were sick, sometimes two, and then another day to get to that 24 hour mark. Meredith got sick a lot when she was in public school, at least once a month. It wasn't long before the truancy people from the school were calling me. They wanted a doctor's note every time my daughter stayed home. I do not take my kids to the doctor very much. I can tell the difference between a bacterial and viral infection and I know when to take them to the doctor and when to treat symptoms at home. I was following the school's guidelines and getting in trouble for it. Other parents ignored the guidelines, dropped their kids off at school, and went to work. Then they got upset when they had to leave work to pick up a child who was throwing up in the classroom. These are the same parents that couldn't figure out why my daughter was sick so much.
Since taking the kids out of public school we have been relatively healthy. My kids still get sick, as do I, but not nearly as often. My kids usually get a cold in the spring and one in the fall. They might get a virus once a year. That has been about it. They have never had pink eye or strep throat. Head lice is not even a concern here.
When we get sick we listen to our bodies. They tell us when something isn't right and we respect ourselves enough to take time to rest and get better. There is nobody telling us how many days we have to get better or that we have to keep doing busy work so that we won't forget how to write or read. Learning continues. It just changes forms. Learning is something that we do every day of our lives, not 180 day a year between August and June. We don't struggle to get our school days in. We don't worry about sick days. We learn a lot about health and our bodies when we are sick. Other things can wait until we feel better.
I remember when the kids were in public school and we were told that they couldn't come to school until they had gone 24 hours without a fever over 100 degrees. This meant that when they got sick they missed the day they were sick, sometimes two, and then another day to get to that 24 hour mark. Meredith got sick a lot when she was in public school, at least once a month. It wasn't long before the truancy people from the school were calling me. They wanted a doctor's note every time my daughter stayed home. I do not take my kids to the doctor very much. I can tell the difference between a bacterial and viral infection and I know when to take them to the doctor and when to treat symptoms at home. I was following the school's guidelines and getting in trouble for it. Other parents ignored the guidelines, dropped their kids off at school, and went to work. Then they got upset when they had to leave work to pick up a child who was throwing up in the classroom. These are the same parents that couldn't figure out why my daughter was sick so much.
Since taking the kids out of public school we have been relatively healthy. My kids still get sick, as do I, but not nearly as often. My kids usually get a cold in the spring and one in the fall. They might get a virus once a year. That has been about it. They have never had pink eye or strep throat. Head lice is not even a concern here.
When we get sick we listen to our bodies. They tell us when something isn't right and we respect ourselves enough to take time to rest and get better. There is nobody telling us how many days we have to get better or that we have to keep doing busy work so that we won't forget how to write or read. Learning continues. It just changes forms. Learning is something that we do every day of our lives, not 180 day a year between August and June. We don't struggle to get our school days in. We don't worry about sick days. We learn a lot about health and our bodies when we are sick. Other things can wait until we feel better.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A Roof For the Schoolhouse
Our little schoolhouse needs a new roof. We have been in our house for about 11 years and have added a roof to the long list of updates and repairs that are needed to keep our home from falling down around us. Our house is not pretty. We need to paint the window trim this year. We need new window frames, as ours are rotten, but to replace them would also mean replacing siding and we just can't afford that right now. We have a gravel driveway that is in need of gravel, because right now it is more mud and muck than rock. I need to have a tree in the backyard cut down before it falls on my house. So much outside needs done. It is overwhelming.
I'll be calling the roofing company in the morning to see how much a roof costs these days. Then I will most likely cry.
I'll be calling the roofing company in the morning to see how much a roof costs these days. Then I will most likely cry.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Shovels and Understanding
Park days and play dates are upon us once again now that the weather is getting tolerable. One of the many ideas to be navigated during this time is sharing. After a long winter, my kids haven't had to share with anyone, with the exception of each other. This isn't a problem for my older children. They seem to have no problem sharing what they have, but it isn't as easy for the younger one.
On our first trip to the park James took his favorite shovel with him. This is the shovel that he has used all winter to scoop up snow while I dug out the sidewalks. He loves this shovel and takes it with him everywhere. He got out of the van, went to the playground with his shovel and was very excited to find that he could also scoop up sand with his shovel. An older boy came over and asked me if he could use the shovel. I told him it wasn't mine, so I could not tell him that he could use it. He looked puzzled and asked if I was "the baby's mom". I told him yes and he asked me for the shovel again. I explained to him that it was not my shovel and that it would be wrong of me to give permission to use something that didn't belong to me. He could ask James if he wanted to use the shovel, but I would not tell him yes or no, because it wasn't my shovel. This child walked away in frustration. He then came back with his mother who asked me if her son could use the shovel. I went through the same conversation with his mother as I had gone through with him. She asked me if I didn't believe in teaching children to share.
During this time James had sat down in the sand and was digging. He had no idea what the conversation was about and he really could care less. He was a boy in the sand with a shovel and he couldn't have been happier. I, however, found myself becoming frustrated and feeling defensive. I do believe in teaching children to share, but this mother wasn't asking me to give a lesson in sharing. She was asking me to pry my son's favorite thing in the world from his hands and give it to her son. This is not sharing and it doesn't teach my son anything about sharing. It does break a bond of trust that I have with my son and I was not willing to do that. I tried very gingerly to explain, to this other mom, that I do teach my kids to share, but that I don't force them to share, because that is not true sharing. True sharing is something that one does for another person without outside pressures. They don't do it because of an external reward or because of impending punishment. It is an act of kindness and love. It can not be forced. Forced sharing is different. It is one person dominating another. I am not out to dominate my children, thus I don't force sharing with others. Trust is one of the basic elements of attachment parenting. As they get older they learn kindness and generosity. It is something that comes with wisdom and experience. It is not something that I expect my toddler to grasp, yet.
We ended up leaving the park early that day. I had mixed feelings about the whole park experience. The kids didn't even know about the confrontation at the sand pit. They all had a great time. I thought it strange that this mother would ask me to make my son share with her son in the first place. I also thought her interest in my parenting habits were a bit intrusive. I am happy with myself, though. I could have easily told her to get lost and she would have left feeling that she was right. I was wrong and that would be that. Instead, she left questioning. She may still feel like I'm wrong, but at least she is questioning why. Questioning is a start to understanding and that is what I strive for in the end. I don't care if people agree with me, but I would love to have others attempt to understand me. I think that understanding is the best thing to share.
We went to our scheduled park day the next day. We took three buckets and 6 shovels with us. James kept his shovel in the car. There were no problems and it was a glorious day.
On our first trip to the park James took his favorite shovel with him. This is the shovel that he has used all winter to scoop up snow while I dug out the sidewalks. He loves this shovel and takes it with him everywhere. He got out of the van, went to the playground with his shovel and was very excited to find that he could also scoop up sand with his shovel. An older boy came over and asked me if he could use the shovel. I told him it wasn't mine, so I could not tell him that he could use it. He looked puzzled and asked if I was "the baby's mom". I told him yes and he asked me for the shovel again. I explained to him that it was not my shovel and that it would be wrong of me to give permission to use something that didn't belong to me. He could ask James if he wanted to use the shovel, but I would not tell him yes or no, because it wasn't my shovel. This child walked away in frustration. He then came back with his mother who asked me if her son could use the shovel. I went through the same conversation with his mother as I had gone through with him. She asked me if I didn't believe in teaching children to share.
During this time James had sat down in the sand and was digging. He had no idea what the conversation was about and he really could care less. He was a boy in the sand with a shovel and he couldn't have been happier. I, however, found myself becoming frustrated and feeling defensive. I do believe in teaching children to share, but this mother wasn't asking me to give a lesson in sharing. She was asking me to pry my son's favorite thing in the world from his hands and give it to her son. This is not sharing and it doesn't teach my son anything about sharing. It does break a bond of trust that I have with my son and I was not willing to do that. I tried very gingerly to explain, to this other mom, that I do teach my kids to share, but that I don't force them to share, because that is not true sharing. True sharing is something that one does for another person without outside pressures. They don't do it because of an external reward or because of impending punishment. It is an act of kindness and love. It can not be forced. Forced sharing is different. It is one person dominating another. I am not out to dominate my children, thus I don't force sharing with others. Trust is one of the basic elements of attachment parenting. As they get older they learn kindness and generosity. It is something that comes with wisdom and experience. It is not something that I expect my toddler to grasp, yet.
We ended up leaving the park early that day. I had mixed feelings about the whole park experience. The kids didn't even know about the confrontation at the sand pit. They all had a great time. I thought it strange that this mother would ask me to make my son share with her son in the first place. I also thought her interest in my parenting habits were a bit intrusive. I am happy with myself, though. I could have easily told her to get lost and she would have left feeling that she was right. I was wrong and that would be that. Instead, she left questioning. She may still feel like I'm wrong, but at least she is questioning why. Questioning is a start to understanding and that is what I strive for in the end. I don't care if people agree with me, but I would love to have others attempt to understand me. I think that understanding is the best thing to share.
We went to our scheduled park day the next day. We took three buckets and 6 shovels with us. James kept his shovel in the car. There were no problems and it was a glorious day.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Home Grown Curriculum
I am once again creating my own curriculum. As in years past, I am not happy with my options. It is getting better out there, but we are an odd bunch here and nothing seems to fit us just right. We are not unschoolers, but we are extremely relaxed most of the time. We are not curriculum junkies, but I have more books than the local public school. We are not religious homeschoolers, but I teach all religions as best I can. We homeschool for academic reasons, for family reasons, and because we simply love our children and love to watch them learn and grow. Finding resources that fit our style is tough. I am still discovering what my style is and it seems to be ever evolving. I don't have a label for it. I can't google it. There isn't a yahoo group for it.
This year is tougher for me than the others have been. I have added my 6 year old into the mix. She is bright, but likes to ask for help, even when she doesn't need it. She wants all of my attention.
I am finding that what I used with Meredith is not going to work with Matthew. I could try to force him to accept her learning style, but it would do more harm than good and in the end we would all suffer for it. Meredith read everything she could get her hands on. She took notes. She wrote reports and stories. Matthew is more hands on. He wants to touch things and do experiments. He wants to take things apart and see how they work. He does math in his head instead of writing it out like his sister did. He wants to be told what to write about instead of having freedom to write anything he wishes.
Meredith is continuing to read far above her grade level. Her understanding of what she reads is amazing and scary. She still doesn't want to read anything about boy/girl relationships, though. While she can read college level books at the age of 11, she is hesitant to grow up. She still wants to be a little girl. Finding reading material that will both stimulate while not offending her is tricky. She is doing great in math now, thanks to the Life of Fred books showing her that math can be fun and can be used in more than just cooking and shopping. Now if only the Life of Fred books incorporated more practice and math computation in their books, I would be happy.
I just can't imagine ever finding a set curriculum that would cover all of my children's needs and my desires. Our interests are a patchwork of who we are and what makes us tick. As we grow, our interests change and the way we learn also grows with us. If I were to buy a learning system for any one of my children for a year, we would end up deviating from that system before it was over with. It is in our nature to change and to need something more or different. My solution to this is to always have many books on hand., to always have something that can help us dive deeper into a subject.
I have ordered several books to supplement and work into my curriculum. Most of my curriculum ends up being a mix of unit studies and supplements. I am just having a hard time bringing it all together this year. I am reading blogs and am getting back to DJ and some other homeschool forums that I used to frequent. That is helping. I just need to come out of the fog I seem to be stuck in. Having a day away from the kids to work on this would help, but that would just be asking too much.
Feel free to leave any helpful hints or comments. I can use all the help I can get.
This year is tougher for me than the others have been. I have added my 6 year old into the mix. She is bright, but likes to ask for help, even when she doesn't need it. She wants all of my attention.
I am finding that what I used with Meredith is not going to work with Matthew. I could try to force him to accept her learning style, but it would do more harm than good and in the end we would all suffer for it. Meredith read everything she could get her hands on. She took notes. She wrote reports and stories. Matthew is more hands on. He wants to touch things and do experiments. He wants to take things apart and see how they work. He does math in his head instead of writing it out like his sister did. He wants to be told what to write about instead of having freedom to write anything he wishes.
Meredith is continuing to read far above her grade level. Her understanding of what she reads is amazing and scary. She still doesn't want to read anything about boy/girl relationships, though. While she can read college level books at the age of 11, she is hesitant to grow up. She still wants to be a little girl. Finding reading material that will both stimulate while not offending her is tricky. She is doing great in math now, thanks to the Life of Fred books showing her that math can be fun and can be used in more than just cooking and shopping. Now if only the Life of Fred books incorporated more practice and math computation in their books, I would be happy.
I just can't imagine ever finding a set curriculum that would cover all of my children's needs and my desires. Our interests are a patchwork of who we are and what makes us tick. As we grow, our interests change and the way we learn also grows with us. If I were to buy a learning system for any one of my children for a year, we would end up deviating from that system before it was over with. It is in our nature to change and to need something more or different. My solution to this is to always have many books on hand., to always have something that can help us dive deeper into a subject.
I have ordered several books to supplement and work into my curriculum. Most of my curriculum ends up being a mix of unit studies and supplements. I am just having a hard time bringing it all together this year. I am reading blogs and am getting back to DJ and some other homeschool forums that I used to frequent. That is helping. I just need to come out of the fog I seem to be stuck in. Having a day away from the kids to work on this would help, but that would just be asking too much.
Feel free to leave any helpful hints or comments. I can use all the help I can get.
Simple Art Minutes
I have purchased rolls of adding machine paper for our soon to be added art minutes. During the day the kids seem to always reach a point where they just start to drift off. The school work starts to take hours instead of minutes if I don't somehow reel them back in. If I give them a break from their work and let them go off to play, more often than not, the work is done for the day and all is lost. That isn't an option. I am now going to ask them if they need a minute away from their work. If they do, they can get up, stretch, jump, and wiggle about for a minute. Then they can go get their paper roll. They will have a minute or two to draw something, anything. At the end of their minute or two, I will collect the paper and they go back to their work. The paper will be rolled back up and placed back into its spot until next time. At that time they just continue what they were drawing. It can be a continued cartoon, or a landscape that just keeps evolving. It is up to them. Simple art minutes to get their imagination going and their minds working, to jump start a tired brain. If this doesn't work I can always try coffee.
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